I Am Feng Tianyi 1

It was as if he was being pained but something he couldn't express himself. There were times when Tang Moyu thought he was looking at her with longing and guilt in his eyes, but he wouldn't tell her what it was about whenever she questioned him.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

Feng Tianyi pulled away and released her from his hold. Tang Moyu stood back and looked at him with confusion.

"Qin Jiran, what's wrong? Is there a problem?" She couldn't understand why there was this kind of uneasiness between them. She initially thought that she was just overthinking whenever Qin Jiran was like this.

"I've been thinking about this for a while, Moyu. And since we've come this far, I wanted to come clean to you." He paused and looked at her right into her eyes. "I don't want you to hear this from another person."

Feng Tianyi looked down at his hands and grimaced.

"Moyu, what if I'm not Qin Jiran? Would you still accept me?" He tested the waters. He needed to know how far Tang Moyu was willing to accept him in her life.

Tang Moyu stilled for a moment, wondering why he was like this. One moment, he looked happy, then the next thing she knew he was conflicted.

Every time she saw him like this, she kept thinking that he wanted to say something to her, but he would always hold back at the last minute.

"Are you not Qin Jiran?" She asked back. What was it about anyway?

She already considered this. When she first met Qin Jiran, she had asked Li Meili and Cheng Ning about what they knew about this reclusive and mysterious author, since they were his avid readers.

Qin Jiran, after all, had a huge fandom. His books always became best sellers. It would be impossible for his readers not to be curious about their revered idol. However, Li Meili and Cheng Ning knew nothing about Qin Jiran's personal life. Aside from his books, none of his readers or followers had seen his face nor heard his voice.

Hitting the search engine about 'Qin Jiran' didn't help Tang Moyu at all as most of the articles and news about him was obviously filtered to hide his real identity. Just what kind of person Qin Jiran was really?

Only wealthy and influential personalities would waste a fortune controlling the media and the public's knowledge of them. For Qin Jiran to be able to block private investigators and background checks from sniffing about his identity and whereabouts, he must be a very private person or he was hiding his real identity to protect everyone's perception about him.

However, he thought that if she could accept him as Qin Jiran, then why wouldn't she be able to accept him as Feng Tianyi? Although he and Qin Jiran were the same person, would she feel conflicted about the man who's been with her for weeks?

"Moyu, promise me you will listen to me first before making a decision about us. Not everything you've known so far is the truth, and I hate to drag this any longer."

Tang Moyu looked at him confusedly but said nothing, allowing him to explain himself.

"Everything I've told you from the start is true. I might have kept some secrets from you, but know that it was only to protect you. But I realize… I realized the longer I keep the truth from you, the deeper the wound I might cause you in the future."

Gu Yuyao explained to him what could happen if he tried to keep it from the empress for too long. Although he knew Gu Yuyao didn't approve of him as her friend's love interest, she didn't want him to keep this facade any longer.

If he was to have her, she would need to understand why he was like this. He could only hope that she wouldn't reject him outright without listening to his explanation first.

"If this is about your accident or the fact that you are crippled, I think I've already cleared this with you several times, Qin Jiran." She pointed out, to which Feng Tianyi responded by shaking his head.

He wondered if the empress would be able to say his real name without hatred nor animosity in her voice. Would she change her mind about him the moment she found out that he was Feng Tianyi?

"I'm afraid this isn't about that, Moyu." He took a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage to confess his real identity to the empress. "Moyu, since our first meeting, I do admit I was aware of who you are and what happened to you in the past."

At this, Tang Moyu shivered and looked at him with wide eyes. She had a feeling that whatever he would say would affect not only the two of them but her children.

"However, I want you to know that I mean no harm towards you or your little buns. I was curious at first, but then it turned into something else…"

Tang Moyu couldn't take it anymore and confronted him.

"Qin Jiran, just tell me who the hell you are!"

"Moyu, I am Feng Tianyi…"