Throughout this time, I've always been in contemplation.

What's right and wrong. Whether my choices are indeed just.

To ponder, hesitate, and agonize... meant I was still human.

But no longer.

Contemplation is but a luxury. Hesitation, in the face of monsters, is nothing but poison.

My enemies are wrong for merely existing in this world. Thus, I shall decree them as entities to be eradicated and oppressed. And so, I will kill them with my own hands.

When I changed my mind, the world seemed so simple and straightforward.

Intuitive and plain.

"..."

The simple world above was bathed in the light of spring.

The feel of the cool spring air, the pink buds dangling at the tips of branches, the fresh scent of new sprouts, the taste of water droplets lingering in my mouth...

I turned my eyes away from the world, emitting myriad colors like a prism.

I repeat today's tasks in my mind.

When the monster arrives, test the new bait...

Just that and nothing more.

***

"..."

Several hours have passed killing time at the forward base.

Confused, I pulled out the pocket watch and checked the time.

"...What."

It should've been about time for the monsters to appear.

The surface of the Black Lake was calm.

I furrowed my brows and surveyed the lake.

What? Did they use a Dark Event to change the appearance time? But even in this stage, the Dark Event was skipped...

Perplexed, I opened the system window to check the enemy information. And then.

"...?"magic

I noticed something odd.

The number of enemies displayed in the system window had drastically decreased from the initial count, and it was still dropping rapidly...

"What's going on...?"

Alarmed, I sprang to my feet.

What's happening beneath the lake?

Flash!

Just then, the teleport gate installed at the forward base emitted light, and a soldier rushed out.

"Your Highness, I have a report!"

"What's happening? I said unless it's an emergency, no dispatching during the defense."

"It's an escape!"

I turned to the soldier in disbelief as he continued.

"The individuals, including Sir Lucas, who were imprisoned in the central prison... We believe they escaped about an hour ago!"

"What?"

"The jail guards were all incapacitated, it took time to report...!"

I stood there, dumbfounded.

But what followed was even more astounding.

"Along with Duchess Dusk Bringar, your direct party members stormed the jail and freed Sir Lucas and the others."

"...Now they're all openly defying me."

I rubbed my aching forehead and asked through gritted teeth.

"Where did the escapees go?"

"That's... After arming themselves, they all... disappeared through the teleport gate."

"..."

All my heroic parties under my command used the gate and went somewhere?

Where on earth did they all go...

"...Wait."

I quickly glanced at the system window.

The rapidly declining number of enemy monsters caught my eye. I gasped softly.

"Could it be..."

***

And it turned out to be true.

A few hours later, after the monster count in the stage enemy info window dropped to 0.

Flash!

Through the teleport gate installed at the forward base, my heroic parties appeared.

Lucas, Evangeline, Damien, Junior. Kuilan and the Penal Squad. Dusk Bringar and the Dragonblood Knights. Verdandi and the Holy Grail Seekers.

They were all drenched in monster blood, with minor injuries all over. But their faces were resolute.

"..."

I crossed my arms and glared at the heroes lining up before me. Once everyone was in place, I asked in disbelief.

"What is this all about?"

Lucas, standing at the forefront, reported.

"I've heard that Nameless of the Lake Kingdom always stands alone against the monster horde. It's said that the monsters that she fails to stop spill out of the lake, invading humanity."

"And so?"

"So, in cooperation with Nameless, we killed all the monsters that overflowed before they could leave the lake."

"Why?""If the monsters don't invade, there's no need to use living people as bait."

Lucas glanced behind me.

Where the human baits are caged behind iron bars.

"It means you won't need to resort to this 'new method' anymore."

"...So, let me get this straight."

I laughed bitterly, stroking my forehead.

"You all defied my orders, rebelled, and even broke out of jail to voluntarily crawl under the lake and suffer these injuries, just to protect those prisoners?"

The scale of this stage's monsters was small, fortunately.

If there had been more, these fools would have died under that lake.

"We weren't trying to protect those prisoners."

Lucas surveyed the other heroes.

"The standard of this monster frontline, and..."

He then stared straight at me.

"Your humanity, my lord."

"..."

"Even if we are torn to shreds, we will continue to protect it."

I gasped for breath.

I ground my teeth.

"Why don't you understand...? I'm doing this because I can't bear to see you hurt and die."

"..."

"Then why won't you listen to me? Why!"

"Why won't you understand, my lord?"

Lucas calmly replied.

"Why don't you see what we truly want to protect, even at the cost of our own lives?"

I looked around bewildered at my heroes.

They all gazed back with unwavering eyes.

Unable to face them, I finally turned away.

"Defiance and jailbreak, you're prepared for the aggravated punishment, right?"

"..."

"Until a new sentence is decided, you're all confined. Wait in your quarters."

Lucas bowed his head and walked toward the gate, followed by all my heroes, who used the gate to return to Crossroad.

I turned to the soldiers waiting at the forward base and sighed.

"...Postpone the human bait test until the next defense."

There are no monsters to kill for the test.

I waved weakly at the prisoners caged behind the bars.

"Remove their bombs and put them back in jail..."

***

I drank.

Sitting alone in the deserted bar of the mercenary guild, I poured and swallowed brandy.

This place, where an old lightning mage once sat beside me, was now occupied only by me.

I kept pouring spirits into my stomach, trying to get drunk.

I lost track of time and how much I had drunk.

When I came to, Serenade was sitting beside me.

Dressed in an elegant suit, her clean, aqua-colored hair neatly tied back, she sat next to me, attentively listening to my ramblings.

"I'm just an ordinary game player."

I rambled.

"Not a genius strategist, definitely not a properly trained military commander. I'm just... a loser who played games in a room..."

"..."

"People die trusting me. I can't bear it anymore. That's why... I wanted to change the situation."

I had wanted to change.

To become a monster. But...

Then Serenade slowly reached out and took my hand.

"Your Highness, the people's love for you isn't because you are a flawless commander."

"..."

"They love you because you do your best, take responsibility for the outcomes, and cry with them. Because you were more human than any other commander."

Serenade's silver gaze softly beheld me.

"But now, Your Highness, in your quest to save people, you're trying to kill them."

"..."

"This isn't like you."

I brushed off Serenade's hand in frustration.

"Why don't you understand too? We have to change."

"Your Highness."

"The enemies are getting stronger, and our casualties are increasing...!"

Even if I had no control over the tutorial stage,

With each progressing stage, our side's losses have been mounting. I've been losing comrades one by one.

The scar that remained on Serenade's forearm caught my eye.

The injury she suffered from a goblin's arrow in a previous battle had left an indelible mark.

If this continues, eventually, Serenade too... might get seriously injured or worse.

"If I don't become a monster, the monster front will be torn apart... by their attacks.""..."

"We'll all be shattered to pieces..."

Watching me, Serenade gently took my hand again and smiled.

"If we're torn to shreds, then we'll live torn to shreds."

...What?

"If we're shattered to pieces, then we'll live shattered."

"What are you..."

"Your Highness. Don't fear getting hurt."

I stared blankly at Serenade. She smiled gently.

"Nobody can win every battle. What's important is to rise above our wounds, to keep walking without giving up."

"..."

"It's okay to be battered. It's okay to be broken. Whatever form you take, I love you."

Serenade reached out and gently caressed my cheek.

"As long as you don't lose your heart, even if torn a thousand ways, you are still you."

"..."

"Everyone is trying to stop you because you're about to abandon your heart."

Serenade shook her head slightly.

"Don't do that."

Lost for words, I just looked at her as she softly whispered with a bittersweet expression.

"Don't let go of your heart... your inner banner, Your Highness."

***

...

My memory flickers.

When I became aware of my blurred consciousness, I was walking through the back alleys of Crossroad.

For some reason, I felt compelled to meet Nameless. Staggering, I headed towards the teleport gate at the lord's mansion.

The influence of alcohol swirled in my head, echoing people's words.

- This isn't your way, Your Highness.

- This isn't the path you should take, senior.

- This isn't like you.

- Because you're about to abandon your own heart, Your Highness.

My way?

My path?

My essence?

My heart?

Damn it, what even is 'me'?

‘Am I...’

A player?

A tyrant?

A monster?

‘Am I...’

A classic culture buff?

Ash?

Or what? What exactly?

‘What did I want to do?’

In this world, for what...

- Bro!

...was I fighting?

The teleport gate's magic stone came into view. I reached out and activated it.

Magical light exploded, opening a portal before me. I stumbled and threw myself into it.

Then,

[The player's existence is uncertain.]

[System use is unavailable.]

A different, sticky darkness unfolded before me, unlike the usual flash.

[Player's existence unconfirmed. Retrying...]

[Player's existence verification failed. Retrying...]

[Player's existence verification failed. Retrying...]

With a series of beeping warnings, a bright red system window filled my vision, and it hit me.

Granny Coco's words.

- Entering another world isn't the hard part. The real challenge is returning to reality.

- You must hold on to the light of 'self', like a beacon, to resurface to this reality.

- Sometimes, those who aren't sure of who they are disappear during teleportation. They lose the beacon's light and drift away.

A sneer crossed my lips.

"Damn it..."

[Existence verification failed.]

That message flashed before my eyes for the last time, and then,

Splash...!

With a sensation of being swept away by turbulent currents,

I sank into pitch-black darkness...

Submerged into the far side of oblivion.

--TL Notes--

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you want to support me or give me feedback, you can do it at patreon.com/MattReading