Balin and I sat in anticipatory silence as Copperpot took a sip from the bottle on the table. He swirled the witbier around in his mouth for a moment, like a sommelier appreciating a particularly fine vintage of wine. He’d agreed that our plan was sound, but wanted to have a “taste of the goods” first.

He swallowed and nodded, then frowned, then quirked an eyebrow. An entire symphony of expressions crossed his face until it landed on perturbed.

Uh oh.

“It’s… good.” Copperpot said, and Balin and I sighed in relief. Copperpot held up a finger in response. “BUT.”

Balin wiped sweat from his brow. “That sounds like a big but."

“I don’t like big buts, I cannae lie,” I muttered.

Copperpot swirled the drink around in the bottle and stared through it. The glass flashed yellow and purple as the golden liquid inside spun in lazy circles. “It’s good, and I could see some of my people growing fond of it. But it’s just good.”

I groaned, but Balin looked confused.

“What’s tha problem, then?” Balin asked. “I’ve never heard of a gnome outside of Beatbox or a few others say tha Sacred Brew was anythin’ but cat-piss. ‘Fine’ is a big improvement!”

“It’s not goin' to be worth tha big pile of trouble that comes with it.” I explained, drumming my fingers on my beard.

“Yes. I do like the flavour, and the fizz is very fun, but a gnomish brewing subsidiary would have a massive target on it for any… shall we call them disaffecteds. If we're going to support you, it would need to be for something incredible. This is good,” Copperpot indicated the bottle, which he’d placed back on the coffee table, “but not amazing.”

“Ah.” Balin deflated. “Aw He was just so innocent in some matters, while being more worldly than me in others. Well, that’s why teamwork makes the dream-work. I turned to Copperpot and crossed my arms. “Let’s skip a few steps and go straight to tha negotiation. What do ya want?”

Copperpot smiled sunnily. “I knew you’d understand.”

I scoffed. “I spend half my days with a gnome who’s one step short from a used carriage salesman.”

Copperpot laughed. “That’s an interesting expression.”

“I just made it up, but full disclosure - we’re in a pretty big hurry, Copperpot. We need ta get this done in three weeks if we’re gonna make our deadline.”

Copperpot raised an eyebrow. “You’re not supposed to reveal your hand like that in negotiations, Pete.”

I shook my head. “Our re-entry to the Brewers Guild and our chance at winning tha local Octamillenial Brewing Contest is contingent on this deal. If we don’t have some proven results in that time-frame, the entire exercise is pointless. And this has the potential to be big money - you have more to lose if ya walk away than we do. I can always find someone else and do this later, but winning that contest could open up tha Kinshasa market for us and any subsidiaries.” I stressed the last bit with a widening of my eyes.

Copperpot slumped back on the couch. “Ah, I see.” He spun the propeller on his beanie and narrowed his eyes, thinking.

“I don’t.” Balin said, his eyes imploring.

“A short timeline puts us on the back foot in negotiations,” I said. “But disclosing it like this means Copperpot needs to decide today. It’s a high pressure sales tactic, like ‘limited time offer’ or ‘one chance only’. It puts the pressure on Copperpot, even though we are technically the ones with a crunch.”

Copperpot looked me up and down and gave a wry smile. “I’ve never heard those phrases, but I understand the gist of them. You realize that tactics like that are considered rude?”

I made a ‘perish the thought’ gesture. “Like I said, full disclosure. I want you to know what’s at stake here. You're our first choice, not our only choice.”

Copperpot stared at the bottle sitting demurely on his coffee table. So much trouble contained in such an unassuming package.

“The first gnomish beer company, and the eye of the King,” he muttered.

We sat in silence for a while and gave him time to think. Balin fidgeted in obvious nervousness, but I was cool as a cucumber.

Lies, I was sweating like a pig. This was my best bet, and if it didn’t work I probably didn’t have time to come up with anything else. It may have just been gold on the table for Copperpot, but my soul was possibly on the line here. I decided to sweeten the pot while the iron was hot.

“Raspberrysyrup is on board with our business, and will be, shall we say, aggressively drinking our product.”

Copperpot looked at me with surprise. “Really? How did you manage that?” If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

“We’re acquainted,” I said, and gave my best ‘dwarf of mystery’ smile.

“She’s been very good for race relations.” Copperpot mused, then his gaze firmed.

“Fine, I’m on board, but on one condition.” He pointed at the beer on the table, and his tone grew dramatic. “You need to bring me a better brew, one worthy of the risk.”

Oh Copperpot, don’t throw me in that briar patch! I had several ideas for gnomish brews sitting in my office right now. Some from before the witbier, and some from just yesterday. Copperpot didn’t need to know that, so I did my best to look unsure and told a little [White Lie]. “I don’t know about that, Copperpot, this brew was the result of careful study and months of research. I’m not sure I can come up with something in such a short time.”

Copperpot pointed at me. “If you can, it proves you’re worth investing in. You’re the dwarf that invented Boomdust, and that Ass-Blaster. I’m not partnering with the Thirsty Goat, I’m partnering with YOU. But only if you can show me this isn’t all just a fluke.”

Balin looked like he was about to say something so I stomped on his foot as covertly as possible.

“You drive a hard bargain. I might be able to come up with something, but it’ll take a couple days. What will we do in the meantime? If you only come on board after I’m done, we’ll run out of time.”

Copperpot stood up and brushed some cookie crumbs off his robe. “I’ll get the ball rolling on the assumption that you’ll succeed. We have a warehouse that should serve our needs, and I'll send over a contract tomorrow.”

I held up a hand. “You’ll need to talk with Annie about it. She’s much more comfortable with Guild business, and said there will be a lot of non-disclosure agreements and some magical-binding oaths involved.”

Copperpot rolled his eyes. “Those will increase my risk, you know.”

“Buuuut, first gnomish brewer?” I said with a smile.

Copperpot rubbed the back of his neck. “I hope you understand how explosive your words are Pete… which suits you, I suppose. You’ve left me with a lot to do, and little time, so please excuse me if I don’t see you out.” He pointed at the door which creaked open, and the Buttler walked in and stood at attention. Had he been listening in? No, it was probably [Anticipate Needs].

In a few more minutes, Balin and I stepped out of the front gate and started back to the Thirsty Goat. There was a *Bing!* as we crossed the threshold, and I absentmindedly hit ‘Yes’ on the quest that followed.

New Quest: Gnomebody to Love PeteOwn the first Gnomish Brewery!

Completed: 0/1 Breweries

Rewards: [Friend: Gnomes]

Do you accept?Yes / No