“I Will Always Wait For You”
“P-Pardon?”
Eleanora asked with a red face, startled.
But Cathain had no answer. He was just staring at her with deeply subdued eyes.
“Your Majesty...”
At that instant her memories of the past flashed through her mind.
When she looked at his red eyes with her trembling blue eyes, She saw herself reflected in his sunken eyes.
Widening her open eyes, Eleanora’s face that turned white, and terrified look.
Cathain, who was silent for all the time chuckled, while staring at the freaked out Eleanora.
“What are you thinking with your tiny dirty brain... My innocent empress?
.....
Cathain spoke as he flicked on Eleanora’s forehead.
Where Eleanora was dumbfounded as she placed her hands on her forehead in pain.
“...I don’t have any intention of ‘that kind’ of sleeping with you as you have not come of age yet.”
“Ah...”
“I said that because I just wanted you to stay with me, though I knew I was forcing you...”
Cathain spoke in a low voice as he thought when Eleanora didn’t even used to think this much before falling asleep beside Ain.
But now she is taking the same thing at a exact opposite side, because he is not her friend Ain anymore.
When Eleanora barely calmed down her pounding heart, she saw him staring at her with an unstable expression.
Suddenly, She felt sorry because she hurt his feelings, who was going through a hard time now.
‘What can I do? What should I do?’
Eleanora closed her eyes tightly.
Although she knew she would be in trouble if something went wrong, she could not refuse his request.
Eleanora knew he would crumble if she left him alone.
Besides, she had to tell him about the late emperor a little more.
There were only a few who experienced the late emperor’s affection for him, and she was one of them.
Perhaps she was the only one who could tell him.
When Eleanora got up with a sigh, Cathain looked agitated and spoke with a subdued voice.
“I knew you would refuse...”
But right then, Eleanora’s palm came to his view.
“Your Majesty, I would like to walk in the garden with you.”
“Oh...”
Cathain was startled for a moment as he kept looking at Eleanora, whose body was stopping the moonlight to come to his view and her silver hair was shining as the moonlight reflected on it.
Her blue eyes was bright as it was ever and the smile on her face was genuine.
“The weather is good these days, so I think it would be good if you took a walk at night.”
“...”
“What do you think?”
“...Thank you.”
Cathain whispered to her as hee got up and hold her hands tightly with a smile.
Which made Eleanora froze for some moment.
Her shadow was blocking the light to fall on him, but still it couldn’t hide the joy in his red eyes.
Eleanora abruptly looked away and this time, she escorted Cathain to the garden.
She walked ahead as Cathain simply followed, holding her hands tightly.
The imperial palace garden, which was shrouded in darkness had a charm of its own, different from what one see during the day.
As they passed the arched door decorated with wisteria and entered the promenade, various colorful flowers greeted us.
Under the moonlight, the flowers waved gently in the wind.
The scent of flowers tickled the tip of Eleanora’s nose in the spring breeze and disappeared.
It reminded Eleanora of the night of Jennifer’s pregnancy announcement, where she ran out and cried in this garden for hours.
But she didn’t feel as sad as she thought she would feel, maybe because she had finally opened up to Cathain that day.
Which took out some burden from her heart.
Walking silently while hearing the sounds of bugs, Cathain asked in a low voice.
“How is your preparations for the war?”
“All necessary preparations have been completed by my father, Your Majesty. As you have decided, I will prove my skills during this war and then pledge the knight oath after my coming of age ceremony.”
“Your father loves you a lot. He almost cut off Duke Ravens head during the meeting when he opposed of you taking the knight oath.”
“...”
Eleanora sighed in her mind. As she felt the need of correcting Alexander’s this sudden outbrust nature.
This time, it was Duke Raven; who knows when he goes to cut off their emperor’s neck and lock up again like her previous life.
Cathain looked at Eleanora, smiling gently, he spoke again.
“It’s rare to see noble family members having a solid family bond, but you must be very close to your father.”
“...Yes”
A gentle look appeared on Eleanora’s face as she thought of her father.
“It was surprising. As you know, your father was always blunt, so I never thought he loved you so much. Well, I now know why he used to be called the romanticist of the century.”
Eleanora was surprised.
Although the way he spoke was still the same, Eleanora could feel that he was obviously envious of her father.
Specially his last sentence.
Suddenly, Eleanora was reminded of herself who realized her father’s love at the last minute before her return.
As she felt the emperor still failing to realize the late emperor’s deep affection for him even though he actually received it.
When she think about it now, her father at the time loved her even though he didn’t express it.
Of course, she didn’t realize it out of self-accusation at that time.
“In fact, I wasn’t close to my father at first.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. I once thought my father didn’t love me because he was blunt and reticent.
So I always kept a cold relationship with him.”
“But how are you so close to him now?”
“...I’m sure the late emperor must have loved you, just like all parents in the world, even if he had failed to express it.”
Eleanora spoke but Cathain was still silent.
She sighed low and traced her memory to tell him some episodes about the late emperor.
‘Can I tell him about this?’
Eleanora hesitated for a moment, but when she noticed his serious expression, she didn’t hesitate anymore.
As someone who heard what the later emperor had candidly told her about the crown prince, she had a duty to convey it.
“I’m sorry to say this, but you didn’t look very good when I saw you coming out of the late emperor’s room; The day when the emperor summoned us to ask about the failed negotiation.
I was bothered, so I dared to ask him why he was so strict to you when he trusted you very much.”
“...So, what did he say?”
.....
“He said although he felt heartbroken, you were the only one to take his place.
He said if you had been born into a noble family, he would have loved you so much, but as you would rule the empire as the next ruler, he could not have done so.
He also said he scolded you even when you did a nice job because he wanted you to do a more nice job by improving your skills.”
“....”
After hearing her out, he got lost in thought silently.
Eleanora walked cautiously in order not to disturb him, with her mouth shut.
“By the way, I think we walked for some time. Why don’t we sit down and take a break?”
Sitting first under a tree, Cathain pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and spread it on the ground.
Surprised, Eleanora looked at him.
Regardless of whether it’s dirty ground or not, how dare she sit on the emperor’s handkerchief?
“Sit down.”
“Your Majesty, how dare I...”
Cathain frowned a little when he saw Eleanora hesitate to sit on his handkerchief.
“You even used to ride on my back or pull my hair, when i was Ain to you. Do you want me to say it’s the emperor’s order now?”
“...I’m grateful to you, Your Majesty”
Feeling ashamed of her dark past with Ain, she thanked him in a small voice, and sat cautiously on the handkerchief he had spread out.
With his back against the tree, Cathain raised his head and started to speak while looking up at the sky.
“Come to think of it, I think I had many memories about you in this place.”
“I guess so, Your Majesty.”
“...Thanks to that, I’ve changed my perception of you a lot.”
“Pardon, Your Majesty?”
“Well...”
He hesitated for a moment, then turned his eyes away from her and stared into the air.
“As i told you that day, in fact I hated you until a few years ago.”
“...Yes, Your Majesty. I know that.”
Eleanora heart ached because she could feel how much he had been hurt as a child, even if that doesn’t forgive the fact as to how he treated her in the past.
Cathain glanced at the lake beside the garden as he spoke.
“This is where i had accidentally pushed you on the lake and after a few days, you collapsed after seeing me.”
“...”
“I was shocked when you kept crying while clinging to your father.
Because you was someone strong and noble who always behaved elegant. I didn’t expected you to cry like that.
Also, i realised then the girl am envious and competing against is only 10 year old.”
Cathain smiled bitterly, staring into the air, then continued to speak.
“That was the first time, i felt something changing in my heart for you...”
“...”
“I was afraid when i heard that our engagement might get cancelled. Specially when i learnt that you don’t wish to have any political involvement.”
“...”
“I was annoyed at how scared you were of the crown prince but how easily you accepted Ain.”
Eleanora felt heartbroken to hear that.
‘The old him must have tried harder than me. Back then I knocked myself over to be the perfect empress.
If what he said that day and today was true, the old him might have continued to compare himself with me.’
Eleanora breathed out as if to throw out something stuck in her chest, Cathain also took a deep breath and continued in a much more comfortable voice than before.
“I couldn’t understand your behaviour till I started to have visions, where I saw how cruelly the past me treated you.”
“...”
“I didn’t even see our past clearly and fully but I felt so angry over him, not to mention you, who remembers everything from the past.”
“...It was painful, but not anymore.”
historical
Both of them kept silent, then Cathain broke the silence once again by speaking first.
“Thanks for telling me. If you hadn’t told me, I would have misunderstood the late emperor a lot.”
“You’re welcome, Your Majesty. I feel it’s fortunate that I can tell you about how he genuinely felt and thought about you.”
Cathain smiled at her but even after a long time has passed, he kept staring at her, which made Eleanora avert her eyes as she felt shy.
Then she was even more startled as Cathain’s cold lips touched her cheeks, which had turned red because of embarrassment.
“I will wait for your glorious return... My empress.”